The Autobot's Guide to Survival with Humans
by SapphireBee
Summary: They came from another world, a different culture. Figures they need to lay down some guidelines just to get by. Just how do the Autobots cope with humans without frying their hardrives?
1. Entry one: Rules 1 to 25

I have seen two delightful stories with this idea of 'rules'. They have both made me laugh so much highly reccomend you read them. I just had to have a go at this myself.

_If an Autobot do NOT do the following by _**hummergrey **

_Things Sam and Will are not Allowed By _**Bloodredribbon **

**Autobot's Guide to Survival With Humans**

**  
Entry one: Rules 1-25  
**

By Steph

**  
ENTRY OPENED  
**

**  
1) **Do not attempt to hide human's snacks, if they wish to put harmful chemicals into their body that is their own choice.

_Ratchet, Wheeljack_

**  
2**) Do not insult a human's physical appreance, it may damage their self esteam.

_Ironhide, Sideswipe_

**  
3**) Do not insult a human's mathematical ability, they have a limited capacity for such calculations and do not posses a calculator based processors.

_Sideswipe, Wheeljack_

**  
4)** Humans can be a force to reckon with when angered, do not attempt to wake them with loud music.

_Bumblebee_

**  
5)** Do not take part in or recruit any humans to do pranks, humans can be irresponsible. The least we can do is set them an example.

_Sideswipe, Sunsteaker_

**  
6)** No upgrading human's technology with cybertroian modifications. Espeacially after the incident with Sam and his exploding mobile phone.

_Wheeljack_

**  
7)**Human language is primitive, that does not excuse attempting to 'add' to their small range of vaccobulary by teaching them Cybertroian glitch words, such as;

Slag

Frag

Glitch

Pitspawn

Fragger

Slagger

Mainframe Reject

Cour

Decepti-creep

Motor-head

_Ironhide, Bumblebee, Ratchet_

**  
8)** Do not threaten to dissect a human for the sake of Cybertroian science.

_Wheeljack, Ratchet_

**  
9**) When celebrating human holidays, have respect for their customs but do not attempt to participate without prior knowledge of the such holiday.

_**Wheeljack**__-_ Blowing half the base up with fireworks on bonfire night.

_**Ironhide**_- Attempting to hunt down Santa Clause with cannons for trespassing on base after 'delivering' presents.

**  
10**) No allowing yourself to get wheel clamped and then scaring the human that comes to free you by threatening to blast them into atoms.

_Ironhide, Jolt, Sideswipe_

**  
11)** Do not practice combat techniques on humans in the dark.

_Bumblebee, Jolt_

**  
12)** Do not attempt to pick up Sam Witwicky without expressed permission from himself or/and Bumblebee.

_Skidz, Mudflat_

"My human, get your own." _Bumblebee_

**  
13**) When asked of our culture on the issues of reproduction, do not reply;

I came from Primus himself. **Sideswipe**

The pit spat me out, probably couldn't take me. **Ironhide**

Who am I? Ratchet. **Prowl**

Ask wrench thrower, but take a shield, just to be on the safe side. **Mudflat**

**  
14)** Do not encourage humans to participate in extreme sports and attempt to 'help' them succeed.

_Breakaway, Jolt _

**  
15)** Do not threaten to shoot, stamp on, squish or blast a human. Report them to Optimus Prime for the correct sanction procedure.

_Ironhide, Sideswipe. _

**  
16)** Do not allow dogs or any other type of pet near Ironhide, you may find a scorch mark on the ground.

_Sam, Mika, Sideswipe_

**  
17)** If stopped by the law enforcement, do not protray a naked, attractive female human, to stop said police officer issusing a ticket.

_Bumblebee, Jolt_

**  
18**) Do not 'test' the protectiveness of Bumblebee in his guardian duties by hiding Sam Witwicky in the energon cupboard, and watching as the said bot search franticly for his charge. May induce paranoia. (Bumblebee restricted Sam to being carried for over an earth week.)

_Jazz, Ironhide_

**  
19)** Do not question a female human's care of their sparkling, may result in dents, waking up a different colour after recharge.

_Ironhide, Jolt, Sideswipe, Skidz_

**  
20)** Do not attempt to run through the base in the middle of the night screaming 'The decepticons are attacking!' and then claim it was just a joke. Humans are fragile creatures, the last thing we need is for any of them to die prematurely from cardiac arrest.

_Sideswipe, Sunny, Skidz, Mudflat, Jolt._

**  
21)** Do not spike human's coffee/tea with extra caffine, they will suffer mentally fits.

_Bumblebee, Skidz_

**  
22)** If you see a human who is unwell take them straight to CMO Ratchet for treatment, DO NOT attempt to diagnose and treat with medevil remedies such as sawing off limbs.

_Red Alert_

**  
23)** Do not tell humans that Ratchet is a sparkless, wrench thrower, this will make them afraid to approach him for treatment which may result in health issues, and Ratchet getting angry and hunting the said bot down.

_Ironhide, Optimus Prime_

**  
24**) Do not hesitate to declare an emergency if it is a REAL emergency, not

in the case of;

_**A human acting crazy**_

_**Ironhide going trigger happy**_

_**Ratchet throwing wrenches**_

_Skidz, Mudflat_

**  
25**) Do not attempt to buy human items over the internet and delivering them to senior officers as a prank.

**Bumblebee**- _Pink booster seat for Ironhide._

**Jolt**- _Cushion Plushie for Optimus's office._

**CLOSE ENTRY**


	2. Infomation Entry One: Energon Cuboard

Thank you for the reviews! This is a little snippet behind rult 18, 'Energon Cuboard'

Enjoy!

**:Thoughts:**

Autobot's Guide to Survival With Humans

Information Entry One: Rule 18

_Energon Cuboard_

By Steph

**ENTRY OPENED**

18) _**Do not 'test' the protectiveness of Bumblebee in guardianship duties by hiding Sam Witwicky in the energon cupboard and watching the said bot, search frantically for his charge. May induce extreme paranoia. (Bumblebee restricted Sam to being carried for over an earth week.)**_

Sam quietly sat upon the large metal berth with a pencil firmly lodged in his mouth, he gritted the end tightly between his teeth, so much so that a wave of small curvy grooves began to appear on the once sleek wooden surface. Sighing Sam lent down over his school book, for the second time to try and decipher the small scrolls of illegible words sprawled across the page that was Mile's handwriting.

"More like scrawl" Sam quietly muttered to himself, the young teenager blinked furiously as though doing so would make words magically appear on the paper. For as smart as Miles was, he could not for the life of him write properly, Sam sometimes wondered if his best friend did it purposely so he literally could not copy his work, which would explain his poor grades recently. It was not like Bumblebee could help him… What on earth would a giant robot from another planet know why humans developed OCD? Heck Sam was human and he didn't understand himself sometimes, no way could Bee help him with this cursed Psychology homework. Besides it was against the **rules**. Rule 27 to be exact. After the seemingly ever long list of 'incidents' between the interactions of humans and their Cybertroian allies, a list had being drawn up about what and what _not _to do. This included helping humans with work, in particular himself, it sucked, though Sam had to admit it, it beat being apprehended by the school governing body for breaking the laws of Physics.

Sam shook his head to himself, ever since meeting Bee and the others, his life had been far from normal, heck things had been anything but normal these past two years. Sam huffed in defeat as he fell back to rest on the cool metal surface, closing his eyes Sam let out another sigh before relaxing and falling into a light daze. A loud bang startled Sam out of his self induced stupor, the door to the med bay swung open and before Sam could even register what had happened, Ironhide came striding through the entrance followed by a rather excited looking blue mech.

"Quick! Before he sees us." Jolt rumbled quickly, Sam watched dumbfounded as Ironhide optics focused on him, before Sam could react Ironhide began to pace towards him, the teen swallowed nervously as the hulking autobot drew closer.

"Err, hey Ironhide, what's up?" Sam chuckled, his voice dimming out as Ironhide's huge ebony palm reached down and scooped him up, encasing him in a cage of black and silver metal.

"Ironhide!?" Sam questioned, banging on the mech's palm when he received no answer. Ironhide simply strode over to the opposite end of the room towards a huge looking cabinet. Wordlessly Ironhide reached up and opened the door, Sam gulped as he felt himself being lowered down. Sam helplessly gazed up as Ironhide took a step back.

"I'm sorry Sam, it's nothing personal but it's about time some bot learned to do his job."

"Hurry up Hide, he's coming!" Jolt warned , Sam caught a glimpse of yellow metal but it was short lived as Ironhide stared down at Sam apologetically for a moment before closing the door shut.

"Wait! You can't leave me in here!" Sam shouted loudly, for a long moment there was no answer. Sam banged his fists openly against the door, getting more agitated by the second.

"Ironhide?!" No answer… Sam grumbled angrily and with all his might pushed hard against the metal door, it did not move an inch under his weak grip.

"Jolt?" He asked the now quiet air. Still nothing. Sighing Sam shuffled back and lent against the far side of the shelf he was on , sliding down to the floor, with only the gentle glow of the energon cubes as company….

* * *

**:2 Hours later: **

Bumblebee's blue optics blinked as he wordlessly searched the base for his charge, it had been over two hours since he had seen the boy, so where in the name of Primus was he? Grumbling to himself Bumblebee paced down the empty hanger, blinking from left to right, still nothing. A surge of worry began to gnaw away at the yellow scout's spark, was he hurt? Attempting to brush off these rash feelings Bumblebee slowed his now frantic pace down to a walk. Quickly Bumblebee peeped his head around the corner of the rec room, Sam had to be in here, it was the only place he hadn't checked yet. The mech's blue optics scanned around the room in one fluid motion. The sofa, nothing, the bean bags, nothing, the games corner, still nothing, no sign of his lost human.

"Slag!" Bumblebee cursed loudly. The yellow mech turned and begun to walk the way he came whilst his processor whirred in worry. **Had he missed somewhere? No, he couldn't have, could he? **Worry flashed intensely in the young mech's circuits**. No. Now was not the time to lose his nerve **Bumblebee though as he beat down his guardian protocols from once again coming online, he could have missed Sam, on his search…

Bumblebee was snapped out of his musing as he came face to face with Ironhide. The yellow scout's spark swelled with relief, perhaps Ironhide has seen Sam…

"Bumblebee, what's the matter? You looked like you've lost something." Ironhide chuckled lightly, Bumblebee tilted his head to one side in suspicion.

**How did Ironhide know that? **Bumblebee thought silently to himself, the yellow mech's optics narrowed slightly before nodding his head.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I have, have you seen Sam around? I can't seem to find him anywhere."

Bumblebee watched as Ironhide's metal face grinned slightly, it quickly disappeared as Ironhide seem to regain his composure.

"No, I haven't, sorry youngling, why don't you go ask Jolt. He might have seen Sam."

Bumblebee nodded his head thoughtfully. "Maybe I will, thanks anyway Ironhide."

Ironhide wordlessly turned and left, leaving alone Bumblebee to seek out Jolt. The yellow mech found Jolt in the med bay examining some new medical equipment that needed cataloguing.

"Hey Bee." Jolt greeted without looking up. Bumblebee's optics surveyed the room, still no sign of Sam. Jolt looked up to see Bumblebee silently glancing around the room, the blue mech frowned guiltily, this wasn't fair to the young mech, he was surely very worried for his charge, but Jolt was worried for himself as well, he didn't fancy getting slagged by Ironhide for telling, so Jolt kept his vocalizer shut.

"Can I help you with anything Bee?"

Bumblebee turned his gaze to look at Jolt, his worry for Sam now bordering the edge of fear, **it was **_**his own **_**fault, he had not kept a close enough eye on him, what if he was hurt, what if the decepticons had snuck in and.. **Bumblebee killed the thought before he could finish it.

"It's Sam, I can't find him anywhere! It's all my fault! Bumblebee's voice broke off with a burst of static. Jolt helplessly glanced at the energon cupboard where Sam was still currently hidden in, Bumblebee noticed and before Jolt could react, the mech's forearm quickly transformed in place revealing a humming twin plasma cannon.

"Ok, Jolt _start_ talking, I _know_ you are hiding something, there is something off about this." Bumblebee's voice dropped threateningly, as if to emphasis his point Bumblebee pointed the cannons just an inch away from Jolt's body and powered it up.

"I.. I..I don't know w..w..w..hat your talking about" Jolt stammered.

Bumblebee's optics narrowed menacingly, he charged up the metal cannon and blasted the instrument in Jolt's hands, the silver rod instantly turned to dust and fell through Jolt's finger tips.

**He's got to be hiding something….**

"Don't play fragging games with me Jolt. I know both you and Ironhide have something to do with why I can't seem to find Sam. Just save Ratchet a patch job and tell me _where he __is_.

"I. Ok! Just put the cannon away Bee!, Sam's in the…" Jolt's voice was cut off by a loud banging noise. Immediately Bumblebee turned and strode towards the source of commotion, the mech's optics blinked before slowly Bumblebee reached up and pulled open the door. The yellow mech's optics blinked in surprise, there stood Sam, covered in a layer of thick pink dust but relatively unharmed.

"Sam!" Bumblebee hummed in relief, before Sam could say anything, the yellow mech had puckered his charge from out of the cupboard and crushed him to his chest.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!"

Sam wriggled at the tight grip that was being applied to his small body. "Bee… Chocking… not breathing." the teen gasped. Bumblebee quickly relaxed his grip to a gentle hold, he chuckled apologetically before turning to face Jolt, the blue mech's smile quickly disappeared.

"Jolt, care to tell me why Sam was stuffed in the energon cupboard?"

Jolt blinked sheepishly raising his hands in a defensive posture. "Hey, don't look at me, it was Ironhide's idea."

Bumblebee gazed down at his charge questioningly, Sam nodded his head in confirmation, Ironhide was going to kill him and Jolt owed him big time.

"It's true, Hide just stuffed me in the cupboard without saying a word, just something to do with a bot needing to learn how to do his job."

Bumblebee optics narrowed, gently he placed Sam upon the metal berth before glancing towards the door,

"Really? Well we'll just have to wait and see what Optimus has to say about this. After I'm through with him first of course."

Sam scoffed back a laugh, letting a satisfied smirk etch across his face, Ironhide was as in for it now.

"Don't think I'm not finished with you." Sam's smile quickly disappeared at his guardian's tone as Bumblebee pointed one metal finger accusingly towards him.

"We need to discuss, your safety in more detail, clearly even the base is not safe enough for you anymore."

Sam's eyes widened but he knew better then to argue, Bee was in mother mode and was not going to let up. Bumblebee nodded in the direction of Jolt.

"Watch him." Jolt dipped his head as Bumblebee turned away out of the med bay doors. Sam grimaced at his prospects, he had two options, try and get away or, face the wrath of an enraged, overprotective Bumblebee. Sam preferred the first option, least he had a chance, maybe he could get away when Jolt was not paying attention and get a cab or something home… Sneakily Sam waited for Jolt to become preoccupied with his equipment, quietly Sam began to climb down the side of the berth but before he could reach the door...

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Jolt hummed lightly,

Sam grumbled sourly to himself, stupid robots with their advanced hearing. Sam just stomped back over to the spot where Bumblebee had previously left him.

"Primus." Sam muttered. This was going to be a long week…

Sam of course was right, as after enduring a week of constantly being carried everywhere by his over protective guardian there was an updated list of the rules pinned up on the base's ever-growing message board.

Rule 18: _**Do not 'test' the protectiveness of Bumblebee in guardianship duties by hiding Sam Witwicky in the energon cupboard and watching the said bot, search franticly for his charge. May induce the risk of extreme paranoia.**_

**CLOSE ENTRY  
**


	3. Entry Two: Rules 26 to 50

Autobot's Guide to Survival With Humans

**  
Entry Two: Rules 26-50**

By Steph

**  
ENTRY OPENED**

**  
26) **When on patrol keep your cover and obey all human road regulations, we do not need local authorities becoming aware of our presence.

_Driving down the opposite side of the road on a one way street. __**Sideswipe**_

_Weaving in and out of traffic on two wheels. __**Bumblebee**_

_Playing inappropriate lyrics of songs/ comments whilst passing 'pleasing' vehicles. __**Skidz **_

_Causing road blocks by imitating no entry road signs with a hologram. __**Hound**_

_Using the emergency siren because traffic moves too slow. __**Ratchet**_

**  
27) **If approached by Sam Witwicky OR Michaela Banes for the request of help with homework, DO NOT attempt to help. This is due to the last incident where Sam was apprehended by the school governing board for breaking the laws of human physics.

_Bumblebee, Optimus Prime_

**  
28) **Under any circumstances, no humans allowed in Wheeljack's laboratory. Safety of such humans cannot be guaranteed, loss of limbs/ unearthly modifications will be the common problem.

_Wheeljack_

**  
29) **Please watch your step whilst around humans, they are much smaller and fragile then we are and do not posses a common regard for their own safety as other creatures do, do not expect them to move out of your way.

_Ironhide, Sideswipe_

**  
30) **Do not scan a human without their expressed permission, they are very protective to the point of paranoia about their privacy.

_Wheeljack, Ratchet_

**  
31) **Do not use holograms to imitate everyday human objects. This may result in the said humans developing mental problems/ PTHD (Post Traumatic Hologram Disorder) For a full description see below;

_**Symptoms Include:**_

_**Suffer will expect everything they come across to be a holoform of some kind, this can range from every day items to people and autobots. They have unfortunately, an over dramatic fear of everything in this world.**_

_Hound, Blaster_

**  
32) **Do not intentionally make Sam Witwicky sneeze by shining a bright light in his eyes OR Startle him so he develops hiccups. The base will be up all night.

_Skids, Mudflat_

**  
33) **Do not allow Ironhide near wildlife, especially birds, they may become stuck in his cannons.

_Ironhide._

**  
34) **Do not convince Wheeljack that some organic planets posses the ability to eat through an autobot just by touch, we need our inventor to not be afraid of everything green.

_Sam, Sideswipe_

**  
35) **Do not engage in winter activities such as snowball fights or Toboggan without a regard for human's limitability. If careless many will end up in the med bay with pneumonia. (Ratchet will not be pleased.)

**  
36) **Do not repeatedly play human pop songs during the night, the humans will be intolerably cranky and jumpy. This can be treated as cruel punishment towards humans.

_Jazz, Bumblebee_

**  
37) **Remember to follow your recommended recharge cycle, we do not want to risk the humans by becoming clumsy. (Bumblebee slipping on the ice last year)

_Prowl, Bumblebee_

**  
38) **Do not allow the twins near the high grade energon. When intoxicated they are a risk to themselves and everyone around them.

_Ironhide, Sunny_

"We's not drunk, we's just happy." _Mudflat_

**  
39) **Do not imitate the humans 'wolf whistle' to femmins, they will not appreciate it.

_Sideswipe, Sunny_

**  
40) **Do not spike senior officers energon with high grade stating: 'They need to loosen up'

_Skids, Sunny, Sideswipe_

**  
41) **Do not imitate a human's method of 'kicking a computer until it works'. Please refer to Wheeljack for (as a last resort)repair.

_Bumblebee, Ironhide_

**  
42) **Do not purposely run into human electricity pylons despite how 'tingly' it feels.

_Ratchet_

**  
43) **When on monitor duty do not pass the time by using Sam Witwicky as target practice. Not only is this cruel but Bumblebee will not appreciate it.

_Ironhide._

**  
44) **When a human asks: How old are you? Do not reply:

_Older then you fleshy. __**Skyfire**_

_Greater then prime but saner then Bee. __**Sideswipe**_

_Ask and I will blast you. __**Ironhide**_

**  
45) **Do not enlist the services of Ironhide for terminating pests, he may over do it.

_Sam_

**  
46) **Do not aggravate distressed parental units, they are fiercely protective of their offspring, all autobots beware.

_Jolt, Skidz_

**  
47) **Do not allow Jolt top oversee the humans whilst they swim on the beach near base, may result in more harm then good.

_Jolt, Sam_

**  
48) **Do nit underestimate humans in their cleverness and intuition, if you prank them, be warned, they will prank you back, perhaps worse then you anticipated.

_Sideswipe, Sunny_

**  
49) **Do not attempt to wake up sleeping humans from their sleep cycle, especially if theses humans are Michaela Banes and Sam Witwicky. Get Bumblebee. (Jolt could not get the disturbing image of a necked Sam and Michaela out of his processor for weeks.)

_Jolt, Ironhide_

**  
50) **When Ratchet and Wheeljack are in the same room together, all humans leave immediately. We cannot be held responsible for any medical testing that may take place.

_Ratchet, Wheeljack._

**  
CLOSE ENTRY**

Hope you guys have enjoyed so far, leave a review!

WB


	4. Infomation Entry Two: Pranksters

Thank you for the reviews. Here is the snippet behind rule 48. 'Pranksters'

**Autobot's Guide to Survival With Humans**

Information Entry Two: Rule 48

_Pranksters_

By Steph

**ENTRY OPENED**

48) **Do not underestimate humans in their cleverness and intuition, if you prank them, be warned, they will prank you back, perhaps worse then you anticipated.**

For once, the autobot base had been rather quiet, aside from the occasional bang coming from Wheeljack's lab, it seemed as if things were finally beginning to settle down. Maybe the new set of rules issued last week had something to do with it, or maybe something sinister was just waiting to happen, to disrupt the newly found peace. Even the infamous twins, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had not being up to their usual habits. No, it seemed as if nothing could possibly go wrong…

Sam and Mikaela had arrived a day earlier for their annual weekly visit, the pair were currently in the human rec room, sat comfortably upon the huge comfy sofa in front of the colossal TV which dominated the area. The happy couple were minding their own business absently paying attention to the wave of colourful images which flashed across the screen. Sam smiled down at his girlfriend, content with finally having some alone time in their otherwise hectic lives. Leaning forward Sam planted a tender kiss upon Mikaela's forehead, turning her face from her place across Sam's lap, Mikaela leaned forward, pressing her lips more firmly against Sam's face.

"This is nice." Mikaela murmured, once more moving forward to capture Sam's lips with her own. Just as she was about to plant the kiss, a huge seething mass of water engulfed both humans. Mikaela squealed as ice cold water fell upon her head, drenching her head so her once smooth black hair now stuck to the sides of her head. Beside her Sam was faring no better. The young teenager spluttered, shaking his head to try and dislodge some of the water droplets that now clung to his hair.

"Shit! Are you okay?" Sam asked offering a hand to his now thoroughly wet girlfriend. Mikaela coughed once, taking Sam's outstretched hand as he pulled her back upon her feet.

"I think so, what on earth just happened?" she said brushing down her wet jeans with both hands. Sam looked around, his eyes narrowing as he noticed two mech's standing in the far corner, snickering amongst themselves.

"I have an idea what." Sam growled, eying the autobot sized bucket one of the pair held. "Come on let's go get dried off."

Both humans abruptly stood and exited the room to get out of their drenched clothes. Once the pair were out of sight two yellow mech's moved away from their hiding place.

"Excellent, did you see the look on their faces? Priceless!" Sideswipe snickered, his optics surveyed the room as a satisfied grin stretched across his face plating. Besides him, his brother nodded his head, his entire frame rattling with suppressed laughter.

"Agreed. That'll teach the humans to not let their guard down."

Sideswipe hummed in agreement, standing to his full height, he motioned with one hand towards the door.

"I'm heading for a quick recharge before that slagging meeting Prime is holding later, got to be able to stay online this time."

Sunstreaker whirred thoughtfully before nodding slowly. "Think I might join you. Ironhide will slag me if I don't pay attention."

Both mech's started in the direction of their quarters, oblivious to the two small figured watching them from a safe distance.

* * *

"Sam." Mikaela breathed, trying to remain as quiet as possible as the pair walked quietly in the direction of the autobot's privet quarters. "Do you really think this is such a good idea? What if we're caught?"

Sam waved a hand dismissively, tuning his head over his shoulder to gaze at his girlfriend, frowning when he noticed her worried expression.

"Those two slaggers need to learn just because they are bigger then us, doesn't mean they can get the drop on us whenever they feel like it."

Mikaela stared wide eyed, sighing loudly as she lifted two metal pots under both arms. "Two wrongs don't make a right you know. If you ask me, it feels like we are just stooping to their level."

"Relax Mikaela, I know what I'm doing."

Upon reaching the main hall, Sam tapped in a string of numbers into one of the huge metal doors. The panel on the side glowed bright green before the door slowly moved upwards, creating just enough space for both humans to creep silently inside. Once inside Sam lifted one hand and made a gesture across his throat in a 'be quiet' fashion. Motioning with one arm, Sam carefully took one of the pots of paint from Mikaela's outstretched hands.

"Okay." Sam whispered. "When I give the signal, we let them have it."

Mikaela nodded, creeping silently behind Sam as the pair made their way over to the huge metal berths their targets were currently recharging on. Scrambling up one of the thick struts that supported the metal structure, both Sam and Mikaela took their positions above Sideswipe's and Sunstreaker's metal heads.

"Now!"

In an almost Cori graft move, both humans tugged on the lids of the pain canisters. Thick wads of pink paint flowed free of the container and onto the shining metal of the two unsuspecting mech's sticking to the armour like tar. Moving away quickly Sam and Mikaela ditched their cans of paint and scrambled away just as both Sideswipe and Sunstriker lurched up off their recharge berths with a screech of surprise.

"What the slag!" Sideswipe's optics flickered online as an oozing sensation spread across his metal. Focusing his optics upon his brother, the mech's vocalizer screeched with loud bursts of static.

"Sunny, you better look at yourself."

Sunstreaker looked down seeing a thick layer of bright pink paint. "What in the name of the Allspark! How the slag did this get here!"

Sideswipe's optics caught the sight of two pain canisters on the floor, along with a two sets of footprints. "It was those fragging humans! If I catch them, they will wish they never came online!"

Jumping to his feet Sideswipe started in the direction of the human rec room, with one intention on his mind. Revenge. Nearing the human area of the base, Sideswipe's optics caught the sight of Sam, the human was sprinting at full speed but before Sideswipe could reach down and grab him, the teenager disappeared around a corner. Sideswipe hissed loudly in Cybertroian. Carefully creeping forward.

"Slagger, wait until I catch you!"

Darting around the corner, Sideswipe readied himself to make a grab for the young human, instead however, Sideswipe came face to face with.

"Bumblebee!" Hey, have you er seen Sam around? I'd like to talk to him."

Bumblebee's optics flickered brightly as his arm reformatted itself, revealing a humming twin plasma cannon. The glowing weapon crackled to life as Bumblebee lifted the deadly device aiming it directly at Sideswipe's metal head.

"I would run if I was you." a voice sounded. Sideswipe's optics darted upwards spotting Sam and Mikaela both resting upon Bumblebee's metal shoulder, smiling triumphantly.

Bumblebee let out a warning growl as he charged his weapon. "Slag no!" Sideswipe cursed, turning on his feet and running in the opposite direction. The silver mech however did not get far enough as Bumblebee aimed and fired, the streaking projectile shot through air before making contact with Sideswipe's metal aft.

The silver mech let out a cry of agony as his metal body hit the floor with an almighty bang. Upon Bumblebee's shoulder, both humans burst out into laughter as tears soon flowed down their faces.

"Nice shot Bee!" Sam laughed happily. Bumblebee twittered happily at his charge's praise, his radio humming to life.

_Check on the rep, yep second to none._

Bumblebee turned and walked away, leaving a disgruntled Sideswipe upon the floor, clutching his burning metal.

"I'm going to get you back for this! You hear me!"

Bumblebee rolled his optics, slamming the door shut behind him drowning out the cursing mech.

A week later a new set of rules had being pinned up upon the news board, under direction of Ratchet. The medic had patched Sideswipe up, and to everyone's amusement the medic had decided to leave the pink paint to fade naturally, perhaps as a reminder to everyone not to prank the humans, and in particular Sam and Mikaela. Though it seems Sideswipe and Sunstreaker both had to learn this the headway.

Rule 48: **Do not underestimate humans in their cleverness and intuition, if you prank them, be warned, they will prank you back, perhaps worse then you anticipated.**

**CLOSE ENTRY**


End file.
